Racist

We as a human being can't decide where we want to be born...

Who's gonna give birth to us, we can't decide...

We don't know, what's our race, how do we look, we don't know...

So, it's not our fault if we have a bright skin or an oriental face..

Race makes people different, and something different creates beauty...

I really hate those people who are racist...

and I'm just kind of surprised that actually not only Hitler was racist..

or probably those leaders from Germany and Italia...

but even my schoolmates and teachers are also racist...

It broke my heart when I was very nice to them yet those people still hate me..

just because I'm chinese...

even one of my ex-classmates stated this statement...

"I don't want to wear the class t-shirt, I don't want to wear the same clothes with those CHINESE people"

I can't even figure out what's so wrong with me...

I've helped them in class, I had taught them lessons that they didn't understand..

They were pretending to be nice in front of me, but they stabbed me on my back...

what's on their mind ? rubbish ? or sh*t ?

they're even making a joke of one of my friend's race...

they called him "china" just because he's chinese..

that's insane..

that's so racist...

I know that those people are majority, and we're the minority...

but they can't simply do the things this way...

and that's just sucks...

Cursing Those Racist People to Death,

Kevin

Split of Concentration

I really don't know whether what I've done for these 3 days were right or wrong..
I've been training since 3 days ago and I skipped lots of classes that I'm sure I won't be able to catch up...
I know I didn't skip math, physics, or english... since I know they're really hard to be caught up...
I'm not sure that I'm ready for this debate competition..
The motions are all economic, and it's one of the my worst subjects...
I can't do economy well, but I can do like entertainment or politics better...
The prepared motions are only 5 and there will be probably 3-4 inpromptu motions...
O geez, gotta prepare lots of things starting now...
LOL

My mom just got back from Singapore, and I'm so happy since she bought me 2 shirts that I love so damn much (even though it's a little bit too big)...
I don't have to worry about laundry, and everything will go normally..
yay !
I guess mom's arrival will at least reduce the loneliness at my heart...
huff...

I was just so happy to actually talk with my friends and told everything that stucked inside of my heart..
It feels good to know that it's not only you that feel like that..
We just simply gossiped a lot until we forgot to build our case...
It's for the first time that I actually really felt confident in our case building time...
hehee...
just hoping the best for the debaters...

I was just kind of pissed off today, because one of my so-called friends was kinda crazy today..
but thank God there were my debate friends that really calmed me down...
and eventually we just did gossiping with each other...
yay yay yay !

Debate, Debate, and Debate,
Kevin

The Brotherhood

When I wanted to sleep last night, I realized that no one was sleeping beside me and had a chat before I slept.. there's no laugh, there's no smile, and there's nothing...
When I woke up in the morning, I just realized that I didn't have to wake someone up after I took a shower... I didn't have to wake someone up for 3 times...
When I had my breakfast, I just realized that I didn't have someone to talk with... I didn't have to clean up his meal and waited for him until he was ready..
When I went to school, the road just felt empty and I was so bored when I didn't talk to someone.. I just listened to his favorite songs and remembered all we talked about in the car...
When I arrived at school,I just realized that there's no one who sit on the stairs waiting for me.. There's no bus that was ready to drive us to another place... There's no one who asked me to take pictures together...
When I arrived at my class, I just felt nothing.. I was empty... There's no english conversation and I didn't have to squeeze my head to find what word that would match the sentence...
When I studied at school, I lost my willingness to study and talk with my friends...
When I chatted with my friends, I remembered about the conversations that we had... The games that we played, and the punishment we took together...
When I went to the lobby, I almost mistook TRRC room as library, since I always went there about 6 days... Waiting for them until they finished their snacks and served them with the best effort that I had...
When I got my debate training, I just couldn't think about anything.. my brain didn't work at all....
When I stared on the sky, I just realized that now I'm here... in reality...
When I wanted to go home, I just realized that there's no one that I should have asked to go home with me... I didn't have to wait until he finished packing his things...
When I had my lunch with my friends, there's no one who asked what was the food made of and said that the food was so delicious...
When I was at home, I felt so lonely.. No one was here.. No one asked what should we do next..
When I entered my room, I just realized that I didn't have to knock the door first.. there's no bag, t-shirt, tissue papers that used to be there.. there's no voice that allowed me to enter the room..
When I opened my facebook account, I remembered the moment when I made him a facebook account... I helped him to edit his profile, and we laughed together when he was confused about his status..
When I told all of my stories to my friends, I almost cried.. I was close to tears...
and when I wrote this post, I just realized that it's all gone...

There's no way that I could turn back time, do the exact same thing that we had done for 6 days...
I couldn't face the truth, that they had already left us...
And to know that there's only small probability that we will see them again...
It broke my heart.. It's irritating...
even though I go back to Korea again next year, can he be my partner again ? since he will be a 3rd grader student next year...
Korean studs only have one chance to go to Bali, and they had used their chance like a week ago...
it's sucks...

I'm worried that I can't face the truth..
I'm afraid to go back to reality...

I really miss all the Korean students...

I really miss my big happy family... Ga-kyeong, So-Jung, Seung-Yeon, Hae-Won, Yeong-Seon, Adit, Indana, Chintya, Sara, and Yanti....

I really miss taeyang hyong damn much...

Wishing Them All the Best,
Kevin

Korean Friends

Some people said that love, friendship, brotherhood and sisterhood can't be expressed with words...

Well, I'm gonna say that it's true, it's real, and it's what happened on me..

It's only 6 days, but I felt like I'd spent an hour with 'em..

Time went by so fast until I realized that he wasn't here anymore..

The days that we spent were so beautiful..

We laughed, cried, shared some stories...

I'm really worrying about his feeling right now..

'coz my senior just told me that he was very disappointed in me..

he thought that I didn't care about him..

and I left him alone at the airport...

oh man, I'm so so so sorry...

if u read this post, I hope u can forgive me...

'coz I was kinda confused on that moment..

I wanna go back to Korea !!

Brother, hyong, appa, I miss you damn much...

miss u my super extra big happy family...

especially my super handsome single appa..

hehehee..

Missing Taeyang and His Big Happy Family,

Kevin

My Existance

Where do I belong ?
I'm not supposed to be in this house..
I'm not belong to this family..
I'm only a naive boy who can't satisfy my parents...
All I've done aren't enough for my parents..
They assume that I'm only trying to take all of their money..
They think that what I only can do is shopping and hanging out with bad guys...
Even though I'd given them my best, they were still not satisfied...
They said that I could do better, bla bla bla..
I'm even afraid to go somewhere with my mom..
Because my mom always scolds me everytime I get back from school..
Everytime and everyday...
I'm sick of it..
What I suppose to do ?
Should I keep going and give my best effort for nothing ?
Is it enough ?
Am I not worth enough as a son ?
I need an encourager, not a dictator...
I'm shattered.. and torned into pieces...

Shattered,
Kevin